One of those days....again

Not really sure how today is going to unravel, and not really looking forward to it. I have a court date with my ex-husband regarding child support...he wants to deem our eldest daugther "not a product of the marriage"...so that he doesnt have to pay support for her anymore. She is 18 and has been away for 5 months on a volunteer contract with Girl Guides of Canada and is returning in 30 days, at which time she will either register for college or university, but he feels since she took time off, she must have made money to survive on and can fend for herself! At any rate, he is a Saergant and knows the lingo of the courts, and always seems to be able to brown nose his own way in court...so I'm sure today's outcome will not be in my favour.

Secondly, meeting today with the superintendant of the board to discuss my failed interview from last week. I lost out last week on a job that was my dream job...and some how the wind has been taken out of my sails in any hopes of obtaining full time employment in this field...so now, where does that leave me, I'm undereducated for many jobs, and over educated for others, or not educated at all in what is required...if someone had told me 22 years ago that not going to uni then was a mistake, would i have listend and gone...look at me now, I gave up uni, cause back then I couldn't afford it, the next best thing was to get married...did that, and look how that turned out..so funny that both of these things meet on the same day to remind of just how completely I have failed at life!

Saturday

What to do? There are many things I should do, waiting for it to warm up a bit s oI can get outside to play. I will take Erin and her friend to the mall today for the "sidewalk" sale, all that Christmas money saved up waiting to be spent.

Tomorrow I will cook a turkey...why? no special reason, it is an economical meal, and the turkey can be used for soup, casseroles and many other things. It is one of the best things I know to cook for this family.

Here is some news today, it is the 125th anniversary of the largest snowflake recorded, it was 15" in diameter! Extraordinary news that is! I wonder what Snowflake Bentley thinks of that, or was he the one that recorded it?

Guess I'll google that!

answers to questions

so a freind of mine writes on her facebook that her 5 year old daughter asked "Why does God make people poor?", and her mother says, how do I answer that....honestly, as a Catholic teacher and a member of society for over 40 years, the answer is simple...it wasn't God who made them poor....it is society...it is mental health, it is lack of education, motivation, support, it is people...it is not God! God however, did give the 5 year old insight to ask the question...such as Hannah Taylor, a young girl from Winnipeg who started The Ladybug Foundation. She asked the same question, but instead of asking her facebook friends how to answer, her mother gave her the answer...somepeople are down and out and need our help...that is when Hannah decided to help and started her "Change for change" campaign. Read her website...its an amazing story, and hannah has won awards for her foundation and her ability to show that one person can make a difference. God did not make people poor, God made us in his image...to have compassion, to be empathetic, to do unto others, as you would have them do unto you...The golden rule! so my answer is, show your daughter that you care, that you have compassion and empathy and make a difference..donate to the local food bank, take food to the shelter, extra blankets, clothes, jackets, mitts, underwear...show your daughter how to make a difference. Show her what God wants us to do.

And then, after answering the question, I think, I should be a teacher, but wait I am ...I just am still not good enough to be put in a classroom..but maybe music was not what God wants me to teach, maybe there is something else I am supposed to do...now just to find out what it is...this is rather funny, that these questions all arise today, when you read my Happiness Project for today, you will understand...

Off to search.

Life

I woke up this morning, did the regular little run through on what happened overnight on facebook, and to my horror, one of my pathfinder girls had a picture on there, of herself with two little people, apparently they were her step siblings. Accompanying the picture was an RIP, to her little sister Paige who had passed away. It ends up she had been in a car accident with her mother and two other siblings, one other sibling is still in critical condition.

On Sunday evening, a 17 year old boy was killed in another car accident when he collided with a transport truck.

A 13 year old is battling cancer in a the London Sick Kids hospital, recieving drugs that are too strong for adults to handle, but she is braving out everything to beat the beast inside of her.

So I think, was it really that bad that I didnt get the job? Is it really that bad that my two little boys broke the living room window yesterday? It takes tragedy to put it all in prespective. I have my health, my family, my home and still a decent paying job, when I get to work. Is it my dream life? Nope, but its life and I'm living it, come what may.

Well, that is that

I tried, for 7 long, hard years I have tried to get a job in my dream career..but it appears, a dream it will always be. I think it is time to throw in the towel, and look elsewhere..one can only be knocked down so many times, pushed aside to let others pass by, before it has a huge impact on your sense of self worth, self confidence and esteem...I give up! Its time to move on.

Flu Season hits home

Well, most of us here got our flu shot, but didn't keep it at bay, Davidson ended up sick over the weekend. I stayed clear of him, as I had the big interview yesterday, so David tended to him...but it seems, the bug jumped from one to another and David was violently ill last night. I was going to go in for a morning this morning, but decided that staying home with Zacchaeus seemed to be on the menu! Glad I did, feeling a little queasy this morning myself, but you know how it is, as the woman in the house, you just suck it up and carry on! What do they say.."be calm and carry on", well that's me today.

There are many tasks to tend to today, I need to get some of the fundraising figured out today, and then do the paperwork for camp. I also need to book a first aid course for the trip girls and who ever else wants to get it for their Canada Cord. I have paperwork to take to the post office to get my PRC check done for GGC. so many things to do...still need to get at my closet, I think it is time to get rid of the old, and hope to be able to buy some new someday soon!

Nothing new in my world today, did well at the interview yesterday, time will tell...I'll just wait to see what happens. All I could do was be me, give it my best, 110%. Been there, done that..now waiting for the results. Still praying!

Happy Chinese New Year

Its the year of the dragon. I wonder what that means? Personally, I have good feelings about this year ahead...after all, I am going to Europe for 3 weeks, what could be any better?

Had an interesting conversation last night. A friend sent me an email, saying she was going to watch her "show", and then go to bed early...on the eve of my big day..no words of wisdom? So I called her quickly, she talked briefly then said, I have to go my show is on. I could not believe it! What is more important..a tv show, that you can download later, or in today's day and age pvr...or a friend getting ready for a big day?

It made me think of a cbc radio announcers comment a while back; she had overheard a conversation between a young woman and an elderly woman. the elderly woman was waiting for the bus to go home from the clinic, and the young woman offered her a ride...the elderly woman said, that it would be lovely and could she stay for tea...the young woman responded...sorry, but oprah is on and I dont want to miss it! The elderly lady got a very sad and dissappointed look on her face, but agreed to the ride home...in this media centred society, people cannot take time out for what is important..reminds me of a book " The Three questions" by Jon J. Muth. Everyone should read it, and then sit and reflect on how they have treated others around them.

"When is the best time to do things? Who is the most important one? What is the right thing to do?"

It's kind of like the golden rule...but even a little deeper. I think we could all become better people if we live our lives based on the three questions.

I have a call for this afternoon to go to one of my favourite schools. I call it " My happy place"! It is a great school, but what makes it great are the people who work there and the kids, it really feels like a family, and I always feel at home. Looking forward to a great day!

Back to Balmy Weather

When we went to the movie last night at 8:30, it was still -15C outside. By the time we emerged from our movie, just before midnight...it had warmed up to -6C! Currently -3C, hoping to get ouside and play today.

Accomplished some of the list from yesterday, the dishes took quite a long time...where did they all come from. Laundry got folded...David's job was to put it away....guess what?? Yep, its still in the baskets!

I met a friend for coffee yesterday and we talked about our jobs, our kids and the upcoming interview. Good to have friends on your side sometimes! Trish called me later on in the day and helped me prepare some more and reminded me of all the things we had done together.

The little boys are plying with my ipad and recording themselves singing twinkle twinkle little star..it was so cute, but of course by the time i got ready to record it, they had moved on!

What's up for today? Not really sure, I am dressed for a workout, so will do that shortly, then shower and collect erin and maybe take the little boys skating or sledding. Adam has swimming at 5:00, Erin has confirmation classat 6:00 and mass at 7:00pm, then home to put little boys in bed, and do last minute reading for the interview tomorrow.

Wish me luck, this is what I have worked for 12 years towards...this is my year! This is my job!

Positive affirmations...good vibes, every little bit helps.

Lists

It is Saturday morning, the sun is up, the cold air is all around us, tomorrow should be a break in the weather and it should warm up a bit.

I have a list of things to accomplish this weekend:

dishes

laundry

send off a bunch of cards for upcoming birthdays, etc.

study, study, study for the upcoming interview

do some baking for the week

prep for meals for the week

start planning party for michaela's return

I'm sure there are many more things to do...

oh yes

exercise

read

relax..lol

It was a very busy week, 4 full days and a funeral...sounds like a movie. had meetings 4 nights in a row, kind of glad that week is over.

This Monday I have an interview in the morning, workshop in the afternoon, and maybe, if I'm lucky a course to go to in the evening...just cannot figure out how to sign up for it!

Life is busy...

but today, I have founda moment to post...I went to a funeral this morning for a friends mom....she was 72. I have some fond memories of her, her smile and her dogs...she was a lovely person, and she will be missed.

Also today, the battle against cancer...acute myloid lukemia continues for a young woman that was diagnosed on January 15th. Her family is with her in London, and it appears she may be there for 6 months...her fight against this horrific disease makes lifes little troubles seem like a drop in the bucket compared to hers. her facebook page can be found here http://www.facebook.com/Bronwyn.vs.leukemia

I am going to challenge all the Girl Guide Units in our community to sell one case of cookies on her behalf and donate the profits to her family. It is a small gesture, but it is girls helping girls...
life is fragile and can be gone in the blink of an eye..it is so important to live each day to its fullest...if you read this and find it in your hearts to donate to help the family, just find thier facebook page to see how you can help.
God Bless Bronwyn today and with her family as they travel this journey together...and to the family of Lillian...my condolences...to everyone else out there reading this...Carpe Diem. Sieze the Day! Go to Music for the Soul to find the song.

Today is a new day

I'm off to work shortly, those 7:00 am phone calls are a real pain, but unfortunately they are my reality! Nothing I can do about it.

Last night I went to see the Rankins with my sister. It was a fabulous show! Raylene was sick, I assume, as she wasn't there, but Heather, Cookie and Jimmy put on a great show...inspired me to get out their old cd's and give them a new life! I think Davidson and Zacchaeus just might like thier music. funny thing last night, there was no fiddle player, all the fiddle part was played on a mandolin! A new twist to east coast music for sure!

Saturday was a good day, but sunday, well it started bad, went reallly downhill, and then ended with the Rankins...but even that didnt life my spirits very much.

I think it is almost time to either think about a new career choice or moving out of town for work...which is why I applied to a job on a reserve yesterday! Not sure it is the best choice, but right now it is the only choice..need to light a fire undermyself to do an active job search, no matter where it might lead me!

Time to start my day!

From bad to worse

Well I woke up today, not at the time I wanted to, but at the time everyone else felt I should!

I got up to get a coffee, as Dave had made it, to find there was none left, he had already drank the whole pot himself!

He claimed he cleaned the kitchen...but it didnt look any different from when I cleaned it at midnight last night...so what gives with that.

Erin wanted to go to Emma's house today, but I told her she had to come home at 1:00, and walk home...well she whined and cried about it, and said she didnt know the way to walk home...and didnt want to walk home by herself, so she didnt go! Oh well!

Then I was skyping with Michaela, and when I yelled and Erin she signed off and said when she comes home she is going to go live with her dad....

can my day get any worse...lets wait and see.

Birthdays and more birthdays

Today Adam had his friends over for his 17th birthday. It began at 1:00 p.m. and throughout the day friends were in and out as their schedules permitted! They enjoyed a round of many different board games, with classics like clue and monopoly, his friends also brought over a few of their personal favourites. They sang, ate, drank and played games. A good bunch of kids, they are welcome any time.
For dinner with his friends, Adam choose to have a classic oil meat fondue. We also served ceasar salad, veggies and dip, sweet potato fries, and M&M's oriental party pack. The birthday dessert this year consisted of chocolate fondue...a nice milk chocolate with pound cake, marshmallows, bananas, strawberrys, pineapple and apples for dipping. Needless to say they were all quite stuffed and just relaxed after dinner. It was a good day.
Davidson had an invitation to go to a little girls party at Ron's Virtual World...this is the local arcade that has lazer tag..apparently Davidson was quite competitive! Who could have guessed that? lol While Davidson was there, I took Erin and her friend and Zacchaeus skating and then Zacchaeus and I played at the playground. It was a cool day at -14C but not cold enough to keep us inside.
It was a busy day, but once the kids were fed and resting, I was able to have a scrabble game with Kathleen who defeated me by a whopping 102 points. Time to get serious about the game again!
Tomorrow, not sure what we'll do. But right now, I'll go lay my head down and go to sleep.
Good night until the morning!

Friday the 13th

Has been a surprisingly good day so far! Was at an early start school, early! The class was a great group of kids, enjoyed my morning and glad I went.

One job prospect has been dashed for David..apparently you must have a Master's degree..makes me think..should I finish it...although there is that tiny issue of time and money!

Still no word on the other job I applied for...but not giving up yet, and at the same time not holding my breath!

Today is bright and sunny outside, but it is cold..brrrrrrrrrrrrrr -18C! Would be a good day to stay home, but things to do..and going to see Beauty and the Beast tonight is one of them! Cannot wait, it has been a favourite of mine since it first came out!

I've added some more music...check it out if you're looking for something inspirational.

Enjoy the weekend...we're halfway through January!

Job Hunt

So it appears that my husbands company he works for are bound and determined to treat him worse this year than they did last year..so this year is going to be one of changes. He is on the job hunt to find something that will be more secure, more reliable, and pay better...and yet somehow still fulfill that need to be satisfied at the end of the day! Sounds like the perfect job doesnt it...we just need to find it for him.

My job situation...its been a week of half days, and the only two calls I have for the rest of this month are also half days. Need to take what we can get to fill the schedule. There is a silver lining to it all...I have the other half of the day to putter around, accomplish a few little things that need to be accomplished, and have a bit of time with the boys. I'm hoping that the situation brightens and that the goal is attained sooner than later, but then I said that 7 years ago, and here I still am! I must really love it...and of course I do.

Two days to the teenager party...need to prep and plan a bit more for that...not sure about teenagers and fondue as the plan is set for...we'll see about that!

-15C outside...apparently feels like -23C...welcome back Jack Frost...where have you been?

Time for coffee before the house begins to waken.

*just a quick addition....it seems there are amazing people in this world who understand and know what you go through...even if you have never met them...one such person just made all the difference in my life- they will most likely never read this post, or my blog...but thank you, all the same*

9 weeks

It is day 3 of school after Christmas break, and the countdown begins..funny some teachers had posted it was 6 weeks till March break, others told kids it was 8 weeks....check the calander people...it is a 9 weeks away! A small amount of time in all consideration still, but nonetheless is a few more than the original 6 that was first mentioned.

I ran this morning, well...to be honest my treadmill routine is one I found in a magazine. It has you on an 8 week routine of walking for a few minutes and running 1 minute, gradually increasing running time and decreasing walking time. This weeks routine is 5 walking, 1 running, 4 walking, 1 running, 4 walking, 1 running, 4 walking, 1 running and then walking for 5 minutes to cool down. 26 minutes, thats it. But after not having exercised for so long...it is the perfect workout to start with. Today was the third day, not consecutive, I've decided to take a day off in between, for now, and eventually work up to every day. Apparently after the 8 weeks I should be able to run a 5 km run! So in March you will find me running around Boulevard!

It looks like the weather is going to more seasonal temps, although -10C is still fairly nice, is it not? Especially for this time of year. I'm attaching some pictures taken over the last few days of the break, sliding, skating and I have to include my chickadee in flight and the sunset last night from my part of the world.

Happy Birthday to Adam

It is Adam's birthday today, can you believe he is 17 years old? Where did the time go? I love looking back at old videos and pictures, and am excited to see what lies ahead in his future. To be 17 in today's day and age, is a scary thing for me, but he seems to take it all in stride. Nothing worries him, nothing really upsets him...he just seems to be on a great path of life at the moment. He has great friends, doese well in school, is a well rounded person, and has grown up faster than I would have liked...yet he still has his boyish things like Lego's and Pokemon. go figure!

He asked for pancakes for breakfast and a ride to school, I was more than happy to deliver. This Saturday we will have a games day with board games and fondue, at his request. 12 teenagers, I better stock up on food!

Today I work this afternoon, I am exhausted from being up late last night trying to get Erin's room in order. It is somewhat there, but we need to tweek, and purge still. I am going to try to put down my personal ten commandments today...or at least get a start on it...I'll list it as a page. I find doing the happiness project and posting on here, is keeping me on track. Speaking of which, I worked out yesterday, and will work out tomorrow...today...is just too crazy! Back to work this afternoon, looking forward to that. Right now, I'm looking forward to my second cup of coffee of the day!

+3C today! La Nina apparently is at work!

Back to School

Well, here we go, 6 weeks until March Break! Erin and Adam back to school today. I've been up off and on through the holidays at 5:00 am without the alarm, but today, the alarm went off at 6:00 am, the snooze got pressed 3 times, and the CBC world report and local news listened to, a and then I was up.

Lunch for Erin made, coffee on and put a pork roast in the crock pot for dinner.

Back to the grind. I have 2 afternoons and 2 mornings to work this week, but today I get to stay home. It is +2 today, unheard of for the month of January in Thunder Bay, but nonetheless, here we are. Despite having many things to do in the house, I will make sure the little boys and I have some nice outside time today.

I have a list of things to do for January;
get donations ready for the salvation army, shelter house and Faye Peterson
sort through boxes that have been sitting for 6 months
put a few more things on the wall (some candles and such) things that have been in boxes for about 7 years!
Organize Erin's room so it becomes a good space for a teenager.

I have done it! I have a financial plan in place! Yeah for me!

Wish me luck!

Until tomorrow
Happy Birthday to my PIC~ Trish
To my big sister~ Dawn
and to Princess kate!

teas, blog, and relaxation

I made my first trip to a new tea store called David's tea. I tried the Forever Nuts today, it was amazing! I ended up buying an assortment of teas, including Movie night, which is said to help rid cravings for popcorn and sweets. We'll see if it works.

As I sipped a cup of forever nuts I began work on my blog and added a few things, made a few changes here and there. Now, just going to relax with a book, sip a cup of Movie Night and maybe watch something on the tube...and no Trish...it won't be football.

-4C today, the last day of Christmas holidays.

Changes to come

So I've decided to add a couple things to my blog, just need to sit down and do it.

One will be the daily quotes from my Happiness Page a Day calendar. The other will be quotes from a book called "Dare to Soar" which I recieved at a conference, probably Partylite, which encourages you to dream, take risks and live life to its fullest. I think of a few people I know that will find them to be just the little bit of sunshine they need on a cloudy day.

I am going to throw in some laundry, have a shower, and go for lunch with my friends son who is in University here...if my kids turn out half as wonderful as this young man, I am in for a treat...not that they havent already...I'm a fairly proud of all of their accomplishments...how many other people can say their little girl decided two years ago to travel to London and live there for 6 months, and actually did it? My kids are dreamers and risk takers and know the path less traveled might not always be pleasant, but there are surprises and treasures to be found in places others have not gone!

-5, light snow..its a beautiful,, unusual January day.

Dinner and games

Made a fabulous stew and roasted winter veggies for dinner. Had some amazing friends over, played a great game of scrabble while the kids played risk and clue. It was a great evening, good food, good wine and great friends, what more could you ask for. Now bedtime and enjoy the last two days of time off!

Back to normal

I put away Christmas last night. I always love the look of the house when it all goes away. The lights are still on outside, as epiphany is not yet upon us, so will keep them on until the weekend.

I went to the grocery store tonight and ended up buying two wreaths and two garlands for next year and even a light up wreath, all at 75%off, how could one pass on that?

The little boys skated today with Little Erin and her friend, they did quite well.

Tomorrow we will have some friends over for dinner, they are colleagues of mine and we share a similar story, so let the wine and conversation flow, it will be a great night.

That's all for today folks,

Goodnight

Makes sense

The best way to make change, is to make up your mind, take control and do it everyday. Wether that means daily exercise, posting to a blog, eating healthy...the list goes on. Doing it everyday instead of every few days makes the difference. 21days makes a habit!

Dear God,

I have decided that I am going to try to read the bible everyday of this year..apparently I can get through the entirety of it in 365 days. That doesnt mean I will understand or be able to philosophize or theologize about what I have read, it means I will have read it. I have the book The One Year Bible...that should help! Today I read online about a man, age 36 who died after a two year battle with cancer. His illness is not anything new to human kind, but he had made a video for his wife on her birthday, kind of as a thank you for supporting me through this battle. his story made it on Oprah, and all over the net. His blog is amazing to read, although very sad sometimes. What does this have to do with reading the bible, and really with anything...I was talking on the phone today with a friend, who was lucky enough to land a contract...she talks about the money she makes a contract teacher, and how it is so much, she doesnt know what she will do with it all...she doesnt mean it hurtfully, but as I talk with her, I feel more and more depressed and upset about my inability to have to also been successful in obtaining a contract or a permanent job..until I once again went online and read about Kristian and his battle with cancer, and his wife left behind with two little boys ages 5 and 3, the same age as mine...and then I am humbled...that I am healthy, that my children are healthy, that I have a home, and heat, clothes and food. Enough money to buy nice gifts for my children, friends and family, to donate to charity, to buy books and go to see movies, to enjoy a latte, or a meal out. I have struggles, yes, but my life does not depend on it..I have bumps in my journey, but they are small compared to the triumphs and tribulations. So just wanted to say Thanks to God, for all the blessings, and my thoughts and prayers are with Kristians family.

now for the rest of the story;

Finished reading War Horse yesterday, going to see the movie today. Cannot wait! Steven Spielberg, don't let me down! But has he ever?

Going to read a chapter in the Happiness Project today and going to start my next book, "for one more day" by Mitch Albom..funny story, I bought the book over a year ago during my brief time working at chapters, then when I was there boxing day shopping I saw it on sale, and bought it, forgetting I had already bought it...so guess it will be a gift for someone now...is that considered regifting?

Here is a good story for you...last year, my sister in law gave me a collection of dip spices that I had given her the year before...this year...she gave me a beautiful photo album...and you guessed it, I have it to her as well! She is the queen of regifting!!

Today, Davidson has a playdate with his best friend, so will be entertaining with little people this afternoon. After that, I think it is time to start putting Christmas away, as much as I hate too, it is time, and I want to use the rest of the week off to organize the rest of the house...the purging continues.

Still waiting for the call from Trish...when are you coming...I am thinking a scrabble game, some wine, and maybe some great Indian food!

I'm adding another resolution to the list....my "me time" will include more time with friends...the people that have helped sustain my life.

Anyway, off to start my day, have a terrific one!

Write it down

so apparently, 95% of the people who make resolutions never keep them, and only 44% of the population even make them...so why is it, I feel the guilt of not making a resolution that I end up making them?

Well, anyway, my resolutions were somewhat written down, and to stay accountable to the very few who read my blog, well, you can keep me accountable.

Today I did a walk around Paris, and from Buckingham palace to Big Ben. It is a program on the iPad, of course, called ifitness, that provides maps, through google earth, and shows you where you are going. I love it, as while I am walking I am looking at places that I have been and have experienced. I have to say, as I walked through both London and Paris, I think I've decided that Paris is indeed my favourite city.

Canadian Living offers a 6 week slim down, I think I 'll sign up for fun, see what it has to say about getting fit.

Today, I am going to clean out the fridge and get a few boxes of donations ready to five to the Faye Peterson home for women and children who have left abusive situations. Then I think I will read War Horse, and try to get it finished before tomorrow.

After that, I will start dinner, tonight we will have butter chicken, curried cauliflfower with chick peas and basmati rice..can hardly wait.

Until tomorrow..enjoy the day and stay warm, I"ll be staying indoors today..brrrr.